Friday, June 26, 2015

Faithful Fridays: Insecurity

Insecurity. Shame. Self-Hate. Fear. Depression. Worthlessness.

     It’s suffocating, isn’t it? That feeling that we’ll never be good enough. That we’re worthless. That life has no hope for us. Those dark lies whispered into our ears, snuffing out our light . . .

You will never be worthy of a godly husband. Who would want you? You’re too much work—too much of a mess.

Stop being so arrogant! Get your face back in the dirt, girl! As if God values you and has a future for you!

Your future is dark. You’ll never get where you want to be. God doesn’t really hear you. You may as well curl up in the corner and waste away.

You’re not good enough, because you don’t have a job. Look at all those hard workers out there! They’re so good. You, however, are pretty much useless to your family.

Ugh. You’re so stupid. Why did you say that? Why did you do that? When are you ever going to get it right, you idiot??

Remember all those dark and awful things you did in your past? You scum of the earth. If people really knew who you are, they wouldn’t accept and love you.

Look at you. You’re fat and ugly. Why would that man want you? He could have so many better girls!

You’re a horrible mother. You’re wrecking your own children. Your house is a mess. You’re tired and depressed every day. You’ll never get things right. You’ll never do anyone any good.

You think your gift is writing? Actually, your stories are stupid. You’re wasting your time. You’re not serving God or others.

You are so shy, and dumb, and socially awkward. Nobody even likes hanging out with you. They don’t want to talk to you. They don’t want to sit by you. You annoy them. Just go away.

     The list could go on and on. I’ve struggled with listening to most of these lies.

When I was about twelve/thirteen years old, I was convinced that I was fat. I didn’t want to visit my family and friends out of state; I was certain they wouldn’t like me anymore. I would get depressed when around girls thinner then me—feeling this irrational shame and less-than-ness.

Around the same age, I fell into a deep and dark season of doubting God. I knew, somewhere in my soul, that He was there; but I was afraid that because of my doubting, He would send me to hell if I died. And I feared the end of the world would come before I stopped doubting.

For years, I struggled with tying my worth to how hard and how much I worked. Around thirteen, I actually remember thinking that my parents probably didn’t love me that much. Why would they? I was a stupid, moody teenager who didn’t do much work around the house when it came down to it. Just some hand-washing dishes a couple times a day.

As I got older and still to this day, I struggle with ever feeling like enough for a godly husband. I have health issues, and emotional problems, and deal with irrational fear and anxiety. Who would want me? I’m nothing special. Nothing sets me apart. I’m boring, awkward, and dumb.

I feel bad for past mistakes. Sometimes shame consumes me, and I feel like all my wrongdoings of the past define me. It’s who I am. I’ll never be able to leave it behind. If people really knew . . .

     All this stuff . . . it just gets you feeling so low you wonder if you can ever rise again. I’m sure you readers can add your struggles to the list. The dark lies you hear daily.

     We, as human beings, struggle and struggle and struggle with insecurity. And the world tries to give us tips, like:

  • Just be you!
  • Have confidence in yourself!
  • Look in the mirror and say, “I love you. You are beautiful.”
  • You rock just the way you are!
  • Shake it off!!

     And some of this stuff has some merit. (Most of it sounds silly in the light of our monstrous burden of insecurity). But while it can have us soaring high for a few days, it never seems to keep us on the top of the mountains; as the world also tells us:

  • Skinny is beautiful. Don’t you see the models? They have thigh gaps, tiny waists, and long, thin legs. You need to be that way, and here’s how you can do it.
  • Stop being so meek and modest. You must be sexy, brash, and bold if you ever want love.
  • You don’t go to college? Don’t have a job? No boyfriend? Excuse me, child? You’re a messed up oddity.
  • What?? You’ve never been kissed? Don’t believe in having an intimate man and woman relationship until marriage? What is your problem? You’re definitely never going to get the beautiful marriage you think you will. You’ll probably end up an old maid.

     And yeah. We fall back in the same old insecurity. Because we’re “too fat”, or we’re “too thin”. Or we’re different—we stand up for purity and modesty and godliness, and people think we’re stupid. Or we see all the perfectly clean houses and happy, loving mother-children relationships of our friends on Facebook, and feel like a failure. Or we have high standards for romantic relationships, and feel worthless because we’re not dating yet—nobody’s even asked.

     And everybody tells us, “Yeah right. In your dreams. You’ll just never get it. You gotta be better. You’ll never be good enough.”

“You. Will. Never. Measure. Up.”


And then we look in the mirror and try to tell ourselves, “I love you. You’re beautiful. You can do it.”? 

Forget it!!!

Who believes that in the midst of the world’s nasty taunts and the Enemy’s even uglier lies that bombard us?

Are you tired of trying to believe all on your own? I am certainly am. So if you are, then join me. We need a new plan of confidence and finding our worth.

It starts with: Look to your Creator and His Word.

(All scripture taken from the ESV version. Large lettering my doing.)

God made you.

26 Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.”
27 So God created man in his own image,
    in the image of God he created him;
    male and female he created them.
28 And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” 29 And God said, “Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit. You shall have them for food. 30 And to every beast of the earth and to every bird of the heavens and to everything that creeps on the earth, everything that has the breath of life, I have given every green plant for food.” And it was so.31 And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good. And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day. Genesis 1:26-31

13 For you formed my inward parts;
    you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
    my soul knows it very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
    intricately woven in 
the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
    the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them. Psalm 139:13:16

19 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, 20 for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

     The Almighty God created you. He crafted you and your inmost parts. He designed your talents, your desires, your dreams, you future. He made YOU a temple of the Holy Spirit.

     Guys, this is huge! Imagine an unimaginable, holy, high Being taking dust gently into his big, loving hands, and precisely and purposefully forming YOU.

Readers, God made you.

God saved you.

You make known to me the path of life;
    in your presence there is fullness of joy;
    at your right hand are 
pleasures forevermore. Psalm 16:11

13 He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, Colossians 1:13

16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

     The Creator of the Universe, the one true God, the mightiest and holiest Being . . . He saved you. God sent His ONLY, BELOVED Son to die for you. He was bruised, and beaten, and killed so that YOU MIGHT HAVE LIFE. And not just life, but abundant life! And eternity!

     The Bible says the greatest love is laying down your life for someone else. Wouldn’t you agree?? Well, Jesus Christ, the Son of God, did that for you.

Readers, God saved you.

God does not condemn You.

Those who look to him are radiant,
and their faces shall never be ashamed. Psalm 34:5

     Sometimes, what makes us insecure, is the shame of past sins. The guilt of failure. The fear of never being good enough. But the truth is, you don't have to be ashamed. Your wrongdoings of the past, are gone. Wiped away. You are free!!

36 So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. John 18:36

     Furthermore, there's now no more condemnation. No one can point a finger at you and say, "Well, she did this that one time . . ." No.

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ JesusRomans 8:1

     God is not a stern taskmaker, or a cruel father, or a condemning judge; waiting for you to mess up so He can strike you. No! He loves His creations! He desire that they be saved and cleansed and filled with joy and hope in Him!

14 So it is not the will of my Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones should perish. Matthew 18:14

34 O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to it! How often would I have gathered your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and you were not willing! Luke 13:34

Now the tax collectors and sinners were all drawing near to hear him. 2 And the Pharisees and the scribes grumbled, saying, “This man receives sinners and eats with them.”
3 So he told them this parable: “What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he has lost one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the open country, and go after the one that is lost, until he finds it? 5 And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing. Luke 15:1-5

     Do you still carry the sins of your past, as a secret burden? Does it tie you up in knots of shame and insecurity? Do you feel like a failure? Do you think God is angry in heaven, shaking his finger at you because you just can't get it right? Read the above verses, my dear!! Those who look to God, their faces are radiant!! They are not ashamed! If you have simply accepted the gift, you are forgiven, you are free, you are shameless; there is NO condemnation for you. God is not waiting to shame you, He is waiting to gather you up in His arms and help you!
     And those past sins, they are no more.

Readers, God does not condemn you.

God sees you.

13 So she called the name of the Lord who spoke to her, “You are a God of seeing,” for she said, “Truly here I have seen him who looks after me.” Genesis 16:13

     Oftentimes, we acknowledge that God created us, we accept His gift of eternal life. But we don't actually feel like He values us. We feel ashamed or arrogant to claim God's love & care. I mean, me? I'm just a little nobody in the grand scheme of things. God allowed me to be born, but now leaves me to muddle through life on my own. Nothing could be further from the truth!! Here the Truth, dear readers:

11 He will tend his flock like a shepherd;
    he will gather the lambs in his arms;
he will carry them in his bosom,
    and gently lead those that are with young. Isaiah 40:11

O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
2 You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
    you discern my thoughts from afar.
3 You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways.
4 Even before a word is on my tongue,
    behold, O Lord, 
you know it altogether.
5 You hem me in, behind and before,
    and lay your hand upon mePsalm 139:1-5

27 My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. 28 I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my handJohn 10:27-28

27 The eternal God is your dwelling place,
    and underneath are the everlasting arms. Deuteronomy 33:27

16 The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of GodRomans 8:16

     We are His children. He is our shepherd! He lovingly carries us close to His heart. He knows us. Our needs. Our pain. Our desires. Our thoughts. Our dreams. Our gifts. Our future.
     And not only does God know us. He cares about us. Every detail. Even little things that we think God wouldn't notice or be bothered with. You are never alone. Jesus saw the needs and hurts of those around them; He saw their hearts and He cared.

13 And when the Lord saw her, he had compassion on her and said to her, “Do not weep.” Luke 7:13

17 The Lord your God is in your midst,
    a mighty one who will save;
he will rejoice over you with gladness;
    he will quiet you by his love;
he will exult over you with loud singingZephaniah 3:17

Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. John 14:1

casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you1 Peter 5:7

12 Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity. 1 Timothy 4:12

     When we stray, He woos us back. When we ask, even in our dirtiest, blackest form, He saves us. He cares about our needs, He cares about us; and He will not allow anything to take us from Him.

42 And he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.”43 And he said to him, “Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise.” Luke 23:42-43

14 “Therefore, behold, I will allure her,
    and bring her into the wilderness,
    and speak tenderly to her.
15 And there I will give her her vineyards
    and make the Valley of Achor a door of hope.
And there she shall answer as in the days of her youth,
as at the time when she came out of the land of Egypt. Hosea 2:14-15

35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? 36 As it is written,
“For your sake we are being killed all the day long;
    we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”
37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:35-39

18 The Lord will rescue me from every evil deed and bring me safely into his heavenly kingdom. To him be the glory forever and ever. Amen. 2 Timothy 4:18

     You are of much value to God. In your distress, your fear, your sorrow, your insecurity, your anxiety, your hopelessness, your pain, He is there.

Readers, God sees you.

God has a plan for you.

But now thus says the Lord,
he who created you, O Jacob,
    he who formed you, O Israel:
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name, you are mine. Isaiah 43:1

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
and before you were born 
I consecrated you; Jeremiah 1:5

18 having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, 19 and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe, according to the working of his great might 20 that he worked in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly places, 21 far above all rule and authority and power and dominion, and above every name that is named, not only in this age but also in the one to come. Ephesians 1:18-21

10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. Ephesians 2:10

For I want you to know how great a struggle I have for you and for those at Laodicea and for all who have not seen me face to face, 2 that their hearts may be encouraged, being knit together in love, to reach all the riches of full assurance of understanding and the knowledge of God's mystery, which is Christ, 3 in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. Colossians 2:1-3

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 looking to Jesus, Hebrews 12:2

9 But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. 1 Peter 2:9

     Look to Jesus! Know there is hope, and purpose, and destiny for you! God chose you! He has a future for you! He has a specific plan for your life; you have a purpose on this earth. You are needed. Your gifts and talents are meant to be used. God has called you to abundant life, hope and joy, and eternity!

Readers, God has a plan for you.


     So . . . after all that . . . (which was really quite beautiful, don't you agree? The Bible never fails to surprise me, amaze me, and touch deep into my soul); what is the conclusion? How does that solve the issues of our painful insecurity?


     If God made you. Saved you. Does not condemn you. Sees you. Has a plan for you . . .

     That means you are worthy. Valued. Forgiven. Cherished. New. You are royalty. You have great hope. You have an incredible inheritance.


     Because of Christ. Because of this amazing Father God who looked down and said, "I want to save my children, because I love them". We are enough because Jesus loves us!

     If I throw off the world's sneers and Satan's condemnation, and look up into the glorious face of Jesus, I see that I am beautiful (He created me in His image), I am valued (He chose to save my weak, doubting soul), I am forgiven and clean (He does not condemn me), I am cherished (He sees me), I am royalty, I have hope (He has plan for me; on earth and in eternity).

     If I look to the world or to myself, I will never be secure. I will never be confident. I will never be good enough. I will never be clean. I will never be hopeful.

     Because it's all about Jesus! It's all about my loving Father! It's not about me. And that is perfect. Because when I stop looking at myself, and start looking at Him, all I see is His love. 

     And I'm convinced, somehow, deep down, that I am beautiful, secure, loved, strong, HIS. 

     And I see that others are too. And suddenly, I want to tell the world to stop looking for self-confidence and start looking for Jesus! Because I have found this incredible security, and I want you, my dear reader, to find it too! *Big hugs* <3

     Now all I have to say to you is . . . 19 Now set your mind and heart to seek the Lord your God. 1 Chronicles 22:19 

(All pictures found on Pinterest)


  1. Oh, Shantelle, this is so encouraging! It', exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you so much. <3 So beautiful!

    1. You're welcome, Amanda! I'm so, so glad it encouraged you!!! ^_^ We all need to be reminded of Truth some days, don't we?

      Blessings, beautiful friend! <3

  2. So basically I think you found my journal, copied down every fear I have and all my insecurities then blogged about them.... Thank you so much for writing this.

    1. You're welcome, Rachel! I promise I didn't read your journal, but I might have been looking through my own! ;D

      But truly, I feel your pain; and I'm so, so glad this post encouraged you!! ^_^

      Keep looking to Jesus! <3 Blessings!

  3. The other day as I was looking in the mirror, I was thinking (of course) about all the things that were wrong with my body. A thought came to me out of the blue: I thought, God made me as a work of art. He designed every part of me. He put every hair where He wanted it. Everything "imperfect" about me was designed by Him exactly the way he wanted it. It's such an encouraging thought when you just feel ugly.
    This was beautiful, Shantelle! I'm definitely going to write down some of those quotes and verses for a bad day.

    1. Ah, what a truly wonderful thought, Grace!! We all get stuck at the mirror, looking at all our "imperfections", so that's just so beautiful to think of it that way! A work of art! By the Creator of the Universe, no less! ^_^

      I'm so very glad this post was encouraging to you!!! And yes, I hope you can come back to it on bad days and be reminded of the truth!! <3 I myself should really put all those verses on my walls or something! :)


  4. That was beautiful!! I struggle with some of those things... whether I'm pretty enough; good enough. This year I went through a period of...I guess you could call it depression. For several weeks I just slogged through school and ballet.I didn't want to go anywhere. It took time (and a talk with my mom) for me to remember that God made me the way I am and that He loves me unconditionally. I still struggle with it some but every time the Enemy whispers his lies, I try to remember that I'm beautiful in the eyes of God, that He loves me, and that He has a plan for me. Thank you so much for this post. It is so encouraging. ~Moriah

    1. Aww, Moriah ... here's a hug!! <3 I've gone through those seasons myself, and it is terrible! :( Yes, we just have to keep clinging to God and His truths every time we hear those dark lies!!! Because they're definitely lies! The truth is, you're a beautiful and amazing person!!! (And I miss you!) ^_^

      I'm so, so glad this post blessed you, dear friend!! Stay secure in the Lord! <3


  5. This is so beautiful and true. A very needful reminder. Thank you so much Shantelle. Tears in my eyes. I'm so grateful to the Lord for you and all the things you say, in posts like this, and in your books -- He has poured His Spirit out through your words and I am so thankful to be able to read them. Thank you, dear, and God bless! <333 :') *HUGS*

    1. Aww, Deborah, I'm so glad it helped and encouraged you!! I start tearing up myself as I read all of your guys's comments! I think we all understand each other's struggles and pain! And I'm beyond grateful that you're being encouraged the way I was! ^_^

      Eep! Thank you so much! That means the world to hear that! My deepest wish is to shine a true and encouraging light through my words (especially my books!) ... !! <3 <3

      God is so good! His blessings to you too!!! *big hugs back*!! :')

  6. Wow, Shantelle this was so encouraging! You have no idea how much I needed to hear this! There are many times I've thought to myself "Why would God want me? How could God want me? I mean, I'm sinful and so imperfect. And He's the PERFECT Creator God!"
    Then I need to remind myself that He died for me! If I had been the only person in the world, HE would have come to save me! His perfect, unending love for us is so amazing!
    Thank you so much for posting! I really needed the reminder :)

    1. So very glad it encouraged you, Jesseca!! Praise the Lord! Now I see that there was a big reason He wanted me to write this post . . . to remind and encourage all of you!! ^_^

      He is incredible, isn't He? And He loves you, and me, and all of us oh so much! <3

      You're welcome! Keep your eyes on Jesus! <3


  7. I was so tearing up as I read this...thank you so much for taking the time to write all this out and find all those scriptures. I have needed this and I'm so glad I read this today. I already know all this in my head, but I think I needed to see it again and let it sink into my heart that I am forgiven and loved and he sees my life and smiles. Thank you, thank you, thank you. :) Bookmarking this post for sure.

    1. Aww, you're welcome; I'm so, so happy it encouraged you, Amanda!! I know exactly what you mean! We can know stuff, but sometimes we just need those reminders!

      God is good! I'm amazed and so thankful that He's blessing you all through my words! <3

      Keep your eyes on His love!! :) Blessings!

  8. Isn't it funny how we believe such lies! Well...not funny, but...

    We need to daily saturate ourselves with God's truth and hide His Word in our hearts. You are so right. When we keep our eyes on Jesus - All is well. Reminds me of that hymn, "I Look Not Back".

    Shantelle, keep glorifying your Lord using the gifts and talents He has blessed you with!

    "I have fought the good fight........"

    We are still at this part :)

    1. Yeah ... not so funny when you're in the midst of it; but weird when you look back! Like why do we all listen to such ridiculous lies??

      Yep, so true. That hymn is a really good reminder!

      "But I look up--into the face of Jesus,
      For there my heart can rest, my fears are stilled;
      And there is joy, and love, and light for darkness,
      And perfect peace, and every hope fulfilled."

      Thank you!! I will keep striving to! :)

      Yep, we are! We all still need to keep fighting!

      Blessings! <3