Dear Future Husband,
I want to apologize. To say sorry for making it all about me. Perhaps it's a girl thing—to think when there is a young man who catches our notice: Maybe he's the one. Could he be my prince charming? –Come to rescue me. Fulfill me. Make me happy. Call me beautiful. Make me secure. Complete me.
Me. Me. Me. I'm sorry. We shouldn't always do that. I shouldn't do that. When we see you, we should see a child of God. A young man treasured by the Creator. A temple of the Holy Spirit. A brother. Possibly a friend. Who knows—perhaps more in time? But right now, we should just see you. Not someone who could potentially fulfill all our "happily ever after" dreams, but a fellow human being who has struggles, hurts, and hopes, and needs encouragement and love, just like we do.
I’m sorry. The burden I oftentimes subconsciously plan on putting on you is ridiculous. There’s been hurt in my life, but I cannot put my hope in you to make it right. You can’t fulfill me. You can’t right my world. After all, you are only a man. A good man, I am sure, but a man, nonetheless. Not a god. In fact, because of your sins, God had to sacrifice His Son, Jesus Christ, to save you! The story is the same with me. So, as two imperfect, broken human beings, how could we possibly be able to fulfill the other?
I need to stop having this unhealthy expectation of you, and start putting all my hope in the Lord. Because if I went into marriage like that, it would cause intense unmet expectations and pain and strife. But if we come together, both keeping God as our first love, and placing Him in the center of our relationship, then perhaps it could be something immensely beautiful.
It isn’t all about me. It’s about you. And most of all, it’s about God, and honoring Him in everything we do! Dear future husband, if God plans to bring you along sometime, I want our friendship to encourage and bring joy to the both of us. I want our love story to be beautiful, for me and for you—like God designed the love between a man and a woman to be. I want our marriage to radiantly glorify Him. He is worthy! And His path is very good.
So, I want to do better. For Him. For you. For me.
~ Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6 ~
~ My soul, wait silently for God alone, for my expectation is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation; He is my defense; I shall not be moved. In God is my salvation and my glory; the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God. Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us. Psalm 62:5-8 ~