Faithful Fridays: Philippians 4:8 PART ONE

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, 

whatever is honorable, whatever is just, 

whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, 

whatever is commendable, if there is any 

excellence, if there is anything worthy of 

praise, think about these things.

Philippians 4:8 

(English Standard Version)

     I would be the first to say that I don't have much wisdom on our walk with Christ...that I still have so much to learn; but I do know that God has been teaching me a lot, and these things have been on my heart for quite some time.

     Just bothering me. A niggling uncertainty. Prodding me to look into them. To figure out if they're right or wrong. To discuss my findings with others.

     So bear with me here, and try not to get offended or anything. I'm going to say what I feel led to say. And if you read this, please do so with an open heart, and then tell me your thoughts! :) I don't mean to cause divisions...the Church is not meant to be divided!!! However, I think a lot of my friends won't agree with me...so if we're in disagreement, may we learn something from each other and then go to God and let Him show us the true way! :)

     Here's my thoughts to tie in with Philippians 4:8 today: Sensuality and Magic. Should we as Christians read or watch materials that have such content?

     ...Pure. Honorable. Lovely. Commendable. Worthy of Praise...

     Hmm.

     First I'd like to discuss sensuality. If you're like me, and love to read, you've probably noticed that many Christian authors add a certain amount of sensuality to their novels. The amount ranges from not too noticeable (but still makes you want to recommend it only to older teens and up) to downright scandalous (you decided not to read by that author again/give it a low rating even though it was adventurous otherwise).

     I was just reading a review from a fellow reader today, and she had rated this Christian novel less than she wanted to because of the sexual themes in it. She said things like, "How do we expect unmarried women to keep their minds pure when reading scenes like this?" and "are Christian novels just getting more and more edgy??"

     Yikes. I don't know about you, but nothing about that sounds pure and commendable. I mean, I like a good romance as much as the next young woman; but what I actually am looking for is a beautiful, real love story ...not a steamy romance that's pushing at the boundary lines.

     Does it honor God? Not only are single ladies having their heads filled with things they probably shouldn't ponder as of yet, but practically only the physical side of a romantic relationship is coming across in most of these novels. I think unmarried women are getting the wrong expectations from sensual novels, among other things. Romantic love is not all about kissing, and the excitement of a whirlwind courtship, and having fun in the moment. It's much, much bigger than that! Romantic love should start as friendship. That friendship should deepen. Christ should be the center of the relationship, from start to end; His approval naturally should be sought!! The physical side should wait; many now-married, Christian couples I've listened to said that saving their first kiss for their wedding day was how they avoided temptation and firmly upheld a godly purity. Yet many Christian romance novels these days are not teaching that at all.

     It's all about how fun the other person is to be with. How delightful the relationship is at the moment, even though they're not sure where exactly its going. And after meeting several times, they might share a kiss, because they have to let the other know they're not "just friends"!

     And on top of that, we get all the details. Come now, writers, I know we like to make things as real-feeling as possible, but ultimately, its the characters' romance, not ours! I think we need to keep the more private moments of their relationship to themselves, just as it would be in real life.

      Some Christian romances I've read even go inside the man's head and mentions what he thinks of the woman's "very fine" figure or whatnot. And I'm thinking, "Yikes!" Isn't that boarding on lust?

     Here's some thoughts on the subject from author Rachel Hauck: Writing Sexual Content in our Stories.

     One thing she said that caught my attention was something like, "Imagine someone reading the kind of scenes you write to your children, your mother, or grandmother. Or Jesus, for that matter."

     Is it honorable, pure, and lovely? Is it building up and helping others? Is it showing God's hand in the romantic relationship? Is it a light and example to unbelievers or younger brothers and sisters in the faith?

     I have read so many lovely, great books with beautiful romances, that are not at all sensual! So why are a huge part of the Christian authors letting it seep in and sometimes almost dominate their books? Authors like Jaye L. Knight, Anne Elisabeth Stengl, and Janette Oke do an exceptional job of writing sweet/clean but incredible romances. Shonna Slayton, Sarah Holman, Amber Stokes, Claire Banschbach, Molly Evangeline, Nicole Sager, Christopher Hopper, R.J. Larson, Melissa Tagg, and Margo Hansen also, from what I'm remembering and what I've read so far, have clean romances. However, many other authors of YA-adult romance that I've read by have at least a little bit of sensual content or else something like shallow romance/premature kissing, *wrinkles nose*

     I'm not saying all of it is simply sinful! But I do think heavy sensuality is definitely crossing the line.

     To tell you the truth, I'm just plain getting tired of reading these type of romances. Give me a Jace and Kyrin love story (Ilyon Chronicles by Jaye L. Knight) and I'm thrilled and my heart is sighing because its just so beautiful, meaningful, and long-awaited. It's true love. Whereas the sensual romance focused all on physical and self has me sighing for a whole different reason. It's shallow. It has little meaning to me. It definitely doesn't grow my faith or teach me more about the godly marriage Christians should seek.

     I know I'm going on and on here...(I'll have to touch on magic next Friday)...but I feel this is rather important.

     Marriage is meant to be sacred. A holy covenant. A beautiful relationship. A godly romance.

     Are the books we read conveying that?

     Also, in a world where we're bombarded by sexual temptations and depravities right and left, is it okay for us (unmarried or otherwise) to read such books? Is it helping or discouraging our minds to stay pure??

     So what are your thoughts? Do you think that a lot of Christian fiction is getting a little too edgy these days? When is crossing the line? Do you think popular Christian romance authors like Marylu Tyndall, Lisa Tawn Bergren, Melanie Dickerson, Tamera Alexander, Julie Klassen, Laura Frantz, and Francine Rivers write tastefully despite some "heated moments" in their love stories?

     I would love to hear your thoughts! Please join the conversation and comment below! Commenting as Anonymous is available; you don't have to have a Google+ account or whatnot. :)