"I look into the quaint mirror on my bedroom wall, taking in the thick, dark hair, round face, and small nose. Searching the greenish-blueish-grayish eyes as if their questioning gaze could somehow give answers to the confusion churning in my heart. To the pain. It's like a physical ache sometimes.
I stare harder. My reflection is motionless. Her eyes are so wide, glassy with only a tinge of what I'm feeling inside.
Hopelessness. Anger. Hurt. Fear. The emotions plague me, but she only stares back from the mirror - looking for all the world like a stranger. Who is she? Who am I?
You're ugly, I think - I tell the girl in the mirror. I feel a little fury, a splash of rebellion. But my reflection does not change. Her eyes are still wide, staring, deep, deep inside me.
Your work is stupid. You'll never be good enough.
Your life is purposeless.
Your dreams are impossible. Silly. Selfish.
Meaningless. Meaningless. Meaningless.
I'm still staring into my own eyes, but my thoughts are now spinning wildly. Hurt - it pulses through me. Pain. Pain. Pain. Bewilderment. Hopelessness. I'm drowning in it.
When will it all stop? When can it all stop? I lost my hope, and suddenly life has no point. I want to curl up and fade into oblivion. But that's not possible.
My reflection changes now. The green in my eyes deepens. The whites redden as a glassy film slowly appears. I step closer to the mirror and watch as a tear forms.
Pure and colorless, it blossoms. Then it slips over my bottom lashes, down to briefly touch my nose, curving over my cheek.
The single tear releases something in my soul, and in my reflection, my expressionless demeanor crumples."
(Snippets for a story, To the Shattered Heart)
(Pictures found on Pinterest)