Book Review: Sex, Purity, and the Longings of a Girl's Heart by Kristen Clark & Bethany Beal

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Title: Sex, Purity, and the Longings of a Girl's Heart: Discovering the Beauty and Freedom of God-Defined Sexuality

Author: Kristen Clark and Bethany Beal

Genre: Christian Living/Nonfiction

Audience: Teen/Adult

ABOUT THE BOOK

For the modern Christian woman living in today's sexually charged society, embracing God's design for sex and purity can often feel like an impossible pursuit. As the culture seeks to normalize things such as pornography, erotica, and casual sex, both single and married women of all ages feel immense pressure to conform. With alluring temptations constantly inviting them to join in, they might even begin to question whether God's design is truly good. They wrestle with questions like

- What is the purpose of my sexuality?
- What does it mean to pursue purity?
- Are my sexual longings good or bad?

In this encouraging book, Kristen Clark and Bethany Beal share honestly about their own struggles and victories, and invite women on a personal journey to discover and reclaim a biblical vision for their sexuality. Kristen and Bethany help women understand why God's design for sexuality is good, relevant, and leads to true hope and lasting freedom.

~ MY REVIEW ~

**5 stars**

Another phenomenal read and awesome resource from sisters, Kristen Clark and Bethany Beal! I had the privilege of being on the launch team for Sex, Purity, and the Longings of a Girl's Heart, and let me tell you, it is not a book that you want to miss! I was stunned and blessed. This is a message I'm so excited for! It is simply, beautifully another tool in helping us women discover the freedom of living out our sexuality God's way.

I think one of the reasons I was so excited to read Sex, Purity, and the Longings of a Girl's Heart is because we as the Church don't talk much about lust being a girl's problem ... or about our sexuality in general! And as a result, I believe Satan has a foothold in many a woman's life. Our idea of sex is twisted and we struggle with fear, shame, and secret sexual sin.

Kristen and Bethany don't shy away from the raw, tough questions and shameful topics. They dive right in. They share their own stories of sexual sin and of finding forgiveness and freedom. They share hope. They get to the heart of the issue, and give practical tips to avoid temptation.

Reading this book could seriously be life-changing for some girl. I read a book that tackled the topic of sexual sin (Every Young Woman's Battle by Shannon Ethridge) when I was a young teen, and it changed the course of my life. And I believe Sex, Purity, and the Longings of a Girl's Heart is an even more precious book on this topic because it is so centered on Christ, and it is so personal, honest, hopeful, and empathetic.

And holistic, if that's the right word. We're not just talking about how to avoid sexual sin. We're talking about our design as human beings ... how God created us as sexual beings in the beginning. And how that sexuality is good! How our sexual design can point us to God. Yes, sexual intimacy was created exclusively for marriage, but we are sexual beings whether we're married or not, and so understanding God's design for our sexuality is vital. It is an intricate part of our lives!

Sex, Purity, and the Longings of a Girl's Heart talks about the universal sexual brokenness. It talks about same-sex attraction, and the truth that male, female, and marriage were created specifically and purposefully by God. It speaks on being made for intimacy, imperfect purity, battling temptation, and real freedom. Again and again, we are reminded that our sexual longings point to an even deeper need - the need for Jesus Christ. He can truly satisfy our souls.

Something that I enjoyed about this book was how it quoted renowned Christian authors and speakers such as John Piper, Dannah Gresh, Dr. Juli Slattery, Jackie Hill Perry, Joshua Harris, and more. And, of course, the Holy Bible! Scripture is what we must always line up our ideas against and see if they match. Because God's Word is our absolute truth.

I love reading about God's design for marriage and sex. It is truly beautiful! And the way it points to Christ and the Church ... the Creator and our relationship with Him ... is magnificent. When we realize the amazing design and purpose of sex, we dare not tarnish its beauty. It is too good to fool around with!

I hope you all will give this book a chance, even if you don't normally read nonfiction. It flows along well and is easy to read. Kristen and Bethany help us to recognize God's awesome design for sex and intimacy as laid out in the holy Scriptures. They show that the hold that sexual sin has on you can be broken! You can find forgiveness, new beginnings, and glorious beauty as you turn to Him and use your sexuality as God designed!

Our brilliant, loving Creator's plan for sexuality is obviously the very best. It was His design in the first place! We can trust that. We don't have to live in sexual brokenness and depravity. By His strength, we can rise up to beautiful heights of purity, holiness, blissful joy, and freedom.

I'm so glad this book was written! Dear women, read this book. I think it will help you to understand your sexuality and the desires that come with that. It will help you to honor marriage and sexual intimacy. And find your deepest satisfaction and hope in Christ!

This book includes discussion questions at the back of the book for each chapter. I can't wait to go through it with a group of women!

I received a complimentary copy of Sex, Purity, and the Longings of a Girl's Heart from Baker Books Publishers and the authors. This review is honest and all my own.

"Sex, Purity, and the Longings of a Girl's Heart" Book Talk & Unboxing!

Good evening, friends! Today I'm here to talk about a soon-to-be-releasing, Christian nonfiction book called Sex, Purity, and the Longings of a Girl's Heart: Discovering the Beauty and Freedom of God-Defined Sexuality, as part of the launch team. It was written by @GirlDefined founders, Kristen Clark and Bethany Beal. I believe the books these sisters write are amazing tools in helping us women better understand and navigate God's design for womanhood, femininity, love, marriage, and sexuality!

Kristen and Bethany are passionate about helping women find their identity in Christ, and purpose in His kingdom! Their ministry has definitely impacted my life.

Sex, Purity, and the Longings of a Girl's Heart is releasing April 30th! And if you want to receive some super special bonuses - such as an audiobook, adult coloring book, and private Q&A with the authors + their husbands - then pre-order by the 29th!

I recently received my early copy of this book, and I'm loving it! Our sexuality is such a huge part of who we are as women - as human beings - and to dig deeper in the Biblical design is so helpful and amazing.

Listen, dear fellow women, God had beautiful purpose in mind when He created male and female. Masculinity and femininity. Sexuality. Love. Marriage. I hope you know that! I hope you will pick up a copy of Sex, Purity, and the Longings of a Girl's Heart and be encouraged! <3

And also, pick up copies of Girl Defined: God's Radical Design for Beauty, Femininity, and Identity and Love Defined: Embracing God's Vision for Lasting Love and Satisfying Relationships, if you haven't read them yet. I loved both books!

Now, if you're interested, watch my latest Youtube video below! It's my very first unboxing video! *grins* #sexpuritylongings

The Most Recent Posts from Lady Grace Blog

Just taking some time to share what I've been doing over on Lady Grace! I hope, if you read any of the posts there, you'll be encouraged and you'll comment with your thoughts! ^_^

Pages of My Journal: Psalm One Prayer

O Lord, help me to be the joyous woman who delights in Your instruction. I pray that You would teach me to mediate on it always! My good Father, make me like a tree planted beside streams of water. Have Your way in my life; work out Your beautiful plan for me, that as I abide in You, I bear fruit in whatever season of life You lead me to! Don’t let my soul and spirit wither, and my heart fail, but may I find Your strength even in my overwhelming weakness. ... Continue Reading

Life, Anxiety, & Reading 1 Corinthians

Hello, dear friends! Once again, I’m on a bad posting schedule. I am on vacation right now, so I suppose I have a right to take a break from blogging this time. Perhaps?

I’ve been having a lovely time, and thankful for the small but beautiful ways I’m seeing God’s hand in my life during this trip. Been praying a lot … and it’s been a comfort as I strive to just follow where God leads. Let go. Hold on. Push myself. Just be. Try to step into His plan for my day, and try to see blessing and opportunity where I might be tempted to see only trial and burden. ... Continue Reading

Practicing Purity & Pursuing Righteousness in Romantic Relationships

How does one pursue purity and righteousness in a relationship?

Even though if you read my relationship status it would say “single”, I’ve gleaned some insight and wisdom over the years on romance, dating, and marriage. By pursuing God and studying this particular topic through Christian Living books, sermons, and speakers—plus deep thought and discussion—I’ve perhaps gained some knowledge, and I want to share my ideas with you! I would love to converse with you in the comments below and hear your experiences and thoughts.

One thing I’ve learned: each relationship looks different! There are no perfect steps and cut-and-dry answers. ... Continue Reading

Do I Want to Know God?

Who is God?

Do you know Him? Or do you prefer not to know Him, so you don’t have to feel any discomfort over shocking Old Testament happenings and radical commands from the New Testament?

Is your god God? Or is he a benevolent, prayer-answering, rather un-god-like figure who fits quite neatly into your compartmentalized life in which your religion is but one, tidy, unrelated compartment?

The fact is, God is kind. And He does answer prayers. But He is also very much God. He created the universe and He created you, and He does not have to answer to you or do things as you dictate. ... Continue Reading

Oh, Joyous Christmas Day

Merry Christmas, dear people! Oh, how I pray that you are filled with God’s love, joy, and peace this day and always! This is a joyous celebration—a light has dawned on our darkness! ... Continue Reading

Some Novel Recommendations #1

Hello, readers! Today I have some book recommendations! Just a few novels set in Biblical times that I absolutely loved. These soul-stirring stories were engrossing and beautiful, and very much touched my heart. I hope you will give them a try! ...Continue Reading

Sanctification

It happened that I was reading some devotional/Christian living thing, and the thought struck me that I might not be “measuring up” in this certain area of my walk of faith. Immediately, my chest tightened. Anxiety entered my mind. Panic struck my heart.

This is bad. I’m failing. I’m not doing what I should. God is surely displeased with me. My brothers and sisters in Christ probably want nothing to do with me because I’m not as godly as them. Will I ever be good enough?

You know what the answer is? ... Continue Reading

Book Review: When Dreams Come True by Eric and Leslie Ludy

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Title: When Dreams Come True: A Love Story Only God Could Write

Author: Eric & Leslie Ludy

Series: Standalone

Genre: Christian Living

Audience: Young Adult/Adult

ABOUT THE BOOK

This daringly real, intensely moving love story gives vision and hope to everyone in search of a love worth waiting for. In their bestseller When God Writes Your Love Story, Eric and Leslie Ludy described the breathtaking perfection of God's plans for each young person and offered fresh guidelines for being Christlike in relationships with the opposite sex. When Dreams Come True shares the Ludys' personal story, illustrating how they lived out the principles of the first book in their own romance and marriage. Includes an all-new chapter from Eric Ludy, "What Happened Next?"

“I had a God who knew my every desire. He also knew how I would fall. And yet He was waiting on the other side of my failure and my shattered dreams with some dreams of His own...” 

Here’s hope for anyone in search of a love worth waiting for. 

From the bestselling authors of When God Writes Your Love Story comes this daringly real, true-life account of Eric and Leslie Ludy’s own journey through the struggles and triumphs of a God-written romance. 

Story Behind the Book

Eric and Leslie Ludy know that most young people today have never seen a successful, Christ-centered relationship modeled, and believe that “happily ever after” is a thing of the past. The Ludy’s wrote When Dreams Come True to offer their own example of a God-written love story, providing the vision for that “something better” that so many young people have never seen.

~ MY REVIEW ~

**5 stars**

Wow. I don't even know what to say. When Dreams Come True: A Love Story Only God Could Write was intensely beautiful. I cried. And cried again. I giggled a lot. I felt wonder touch my soul. And hope grow in my heart. And joy filled me. Reading this amazing love story, I kept getting glimpses of how great God's love for me, personally, is ... and that brings so much joy! Makes my soul sigh with longing to know Him more.

Such an incredible book. Interesting, humorous, poignant, gentle, deep, adventurous ... It was easy to read and keep me turning pages. I got so into it!

The beginning part is about not-so-good high school years; and a lot of it was quite disturbing and made my heart sorrowful to hear that such immorality was happening. (I was homeschooled, so I didn't experience a lot of those kind of things). So a bit of a warning there. It can feel depressing and such. But, Eric and Leslie do not use graphic language or explicit scenes, or anything.

So, ultimately, it's this amazing tale from beginning to end. I was surprised how much it encouraged me! Ladies, you must read this book! I know your heart is filled with dreams of prince charming and "happily ever afters", but God is longing to whisper to you, I have a dream for you that is so much more beautiful than you can imagine. At certain parts of this book, I felt I like I could be a princess. God's beloved princess.

     I think this book could really benefit men too! Specifically, guys who want to get married. So, people, just pick up this book! I don't think you will regret it. ^_^

This is Eric and Leslie Ludy's story. And it is truly a love story only God could write.

Dear Future Husband ...

Dear Future Husband,

I want to apologize. To say sorry for making it all about me. Perhaps it's a girl thing—to think when there is a young man who catches our notice: Maybe he's the one. Could he be my prince charming? –Come to rescue me. Fulfill me. Make me happy. Call me beautiful. Make me secure. Complete me.

Me. Me. Me. I'm sorry. We shouldn't always do that. I shouldn't do that. When we see you, we should see a child of God. A young man treasured by the Creator. A temple of the Holy Spirit. A brother. Possibly a friend. Who knows—perhaps more in time? But right now, we should just see you. Not someone who could potentially fulfill all our "happily ever after" dreams, but a fellow human being who has struggles, hurts, and hopes, and needs encouragement and love, just like we do.

I’m sorry. The burden I oftentimes subconsciously plan on putting on you is ridiculous. There’s been hurt in my life, but I cannot put my hope in you to make it right. You can’t fulfill me. You can’t right my world. After all, you are only a man. A good man, I am sure, but a man, nonetheless. Not a god. In fact, because of your sins, God had to sacrifice His Son, Jesus Christ, to save you! The story is the same with me. So, as two imperfect, broken human beings, how could we possibly be able to fulfill the other?

I need to stop having this unhealthy expectation of you, and start putting all my hope in the Lord. Because if I went into marriage like that, it would cause intense unmet expectations and pain and strife. But if we come together, both keeping God as our first love, and placing Him in the center of our relationship, then perhaps it could be something immensely beautiful.

It isn’t all about me. It’s about you. And most of all, it’s about God, and honoring Him in everything we do! Dear future husband, if God plans to bring you along sometime, I want our friendship to encourage and bring joy to the both of us. I want our love story to be beautiful, for me and for you—like God designed the love between a man and a woman to be. I want our marriage to radiantly glorify Him. He is worthy! And His path is very good.

So, I want to do better. For Him. For you. For me.

Faithfully Yours

~ Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6 ~

~ My soul, wait silently for God alone, for my expectation is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation; He is my defense; I shall not be moved. In God is my salvation and my glory; the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God. Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us. Psalm 62:5-8 ~

Faithful Fridays: Philippians 4:8 PART ONE

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, 

whatever is honorable, whatever is just, 

whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, 

whatever is commendable, if there is any 

excellence, if there is anything worthy of 

praise, think about these things.

Philippians 4:8 

(English Standard Version)

     I would be the first to say that I don't have much wisdom on our walk with Christ...that I still have so much to learn; but I do know that God has been teaching me a lot, and these things have been on my heart for quite some time.

     Just bothering me. A niggling uncertainty. Prodding me to look into them. To figure out if they're right or wrong. To discuss my findings with others.

     So bear with me here, and try not to get offended or anything. I'm going to say what I feel led to say. And if you read this, please do so with an open heart, and then tell me your thoughts! :) I don't mean to cause divisions...the Church is not meant to be divided!!! However, I think a lot of my friends won't agree with me...so if we're in disagreement, may we learn something from each other and then go to God and let Him show us the true way! :)

     Here's my thoughts to tie in with Philippians 4:8 today: Sensuality and Magic. Should we as Christians read or watch materials that have such content?

     ...Pure. Honorable. Lovely. Commendable. Worthy of Praise...

     Hmm.

     First I'd like to discuss sensuality. If you're like me, and love to read, you've probably noticed that many Christian authors add a certain amount of sensuality to their novels. The amount ranges from not too noticeable (but still makes you want to recommend it only to older teens and up) to downright scandalous (you decided not to read by that author again/give it a low rating even though it was adventurous otherwise).

     I was just reading a review from a fellow reader today, and she had rated this Christian novel less than she wanted to because of the sexual themes in it. She said things like, "How do we expect unmarried women to keep their minds pure when reading scenes like this?" and "are Christian novels just getting more and more edgy??"

     Yikes. I don't know about you, but nothing about that sounds pure and commendable. I mean, I like a good romance as much as the next young woman; but what I actually am looking for is a beautiful, real love story ...not a steamy romance that's pushing at the boundary lines.

     Does it honor God? Not only are single ladies having their heads filled with things they probably shouldn't ponder as of yet, but practically only the physical side of a romantic relationship is coming across in most of these novels. I think unmarried women are getting the wrong expectations from sensual novels, among other things. Romantic love is not all about kissing, and the excitement of a whirlwind courtship, and having fun in the moment. It's much, much bigger than that! Romantic love should start as friendship. That friendship should deepen. Christ should be the center of the relationship, from start to end; His approval naturally should be sought!! The physical side should wait; many now-married, Christian couples I've listened to said that saving their first kiss for their wedding day was how they avoided temptation and firmly upheld a godly purity. Yet many Christian romance novels these days are not teaching that at all.

     It's all about how fun the other person is to be with. How delightful the relationship is at the moment, even though they're not sure where exactly its going. And after meeting several times, they might share a kiss, because they have to let the other know they're not "just friends"!

     And on top of that, we get all the details. Come now, writers, I know we like to make things as real-feeling as possible, but ultimately, its the characters' romance, not ours! I think we need to keep the more private moments of their relationship to themselves, just as it would be in real life.

      Some Christian romances I've read even go inside the man's head and mentions what he thinks of the woman's "very fine" figure or whatnot. And I'm thinking, "Yikes!" Isn't that boarding on lust?

     Here's some thoughts on the subject from author Rachel Hauck: Writing Sexual Content in our Stories.

     One thing she said that caught my attention was something like, "Imagine someone reading the kind of scenes you write to your children, your mother, or grandmother. Or Jesus, for that matter."

     Is it honorable, pure, and lovely? Is it building up and helping others? Is it showing God's hand in the romantic relationship? Is it a light and example to unbelievers or younger brothers and sisters in the faith?

     I have read so many lovely, great books with beautiful romances, that are not at all sensual! So why are a huge part of the Christian authors letting it seep in and sometimes almost dominate their books? Authors like Jaye L. Knight, Anne Elisabeth Stengl, and Janette Oke do an exceptional job of writing sweet/clean but incredible romances. Shonna Slayton, Sarah Holman, Amber Stokes, Claire Banschbach, Molly Evangeline, Nicole Sager, Christopher Hopper, R.J. Larson, Melissa Tagg, and Margo Hansen also, from what I'm remembering and what I've read so far, have clean romances. However, many other authors of YA-adult romance that I've read by have at least a little bit of sensual content or else something like shallow romance/premature kissing, *wrinkles nose*

     I'm not saying all of it is simply sinful! But I do think heavy sensuality is definitely crossing the line.

     To tell you the truth, I'm just plain getting tired of reading these type of romances. Give me a Jace and Kyrin love story (Ilyon Chronicles by Jaye L. Knight) and I'm thrilled and my heart is sighing because its just so beautiful, meaningful, and long-awaited. It's true love. Whereas the sensual romance focused all on physical and self has me sighing for a whole different reason. It's shallow. It has little meaning to me. It definitely doesn't grow my faith or teach me more about the godly marriage Christians should seek.

     I know I'm going on and on here...(I'll have to touch on magic next Friday)...but I feel this is rather important.

     Marriage is meant to be sacred. A holy covenant. A beautiful relationship. A godly romance.

     Are the books we read conveying that?

     Also, in a world where we're bombarded by sexual temptations and depravities right and left, is it okay for us (unmarried or otherwise) to read such books? Is it helping or discouraging our minds to stay pure??

     So what are your thoughts? Do you think that a lot of Christian fiction is getting a little too edgy these days? When is crossing the line? Do you think popular Christian romance authors like Marylu Tyndall, Lisa Tawn Bergren, Melanie Dickerson, Tamera Alexander, Julie Klassen, Laura Frantz, and Francine Rivers write tastefully despite some "heated moments" in their love stories?

     I would love to hear your thoughts! Please join the conversation and comment below! Commenting as Anonymous is available; you don't have to have a Google+ account or whatnot. :)