Hey, readers! So, back in September of 2016 I started another blog, called Lady Grace, in hopes of motivating myself to post more faith/inspirational posts. It worked to a certain extent. *laughs*
It's been lovely having my Lady Grace blog and trying out Wordpress, but I'm thinking about going back to just one blog again. Running two blogs can be a bit stressful for me, especially when I'm hoping to have a full-time (or at least part-time) job soon.
So I might go back to just blogging here. I'd probably do my Booktube Mondays, random post on Wednesdays, and then Faithful Fridays (inspirational/faith posts). We'll see.
Quick Question: For those of you who signed up to receive email notifications from Between the Pages of This Bookish Life - are you still receiving those emails? I know my sister and some other people said they weren't.
But I'm just going to share this week's post from Lady Grace on here! (It's going up on Lady Grace tomorrow - Saturday.)
***
Ah,
that dreaded word.
Singles.
Actually,
it's not all that bad. *winks* When I stop thinking about "single" as a
label that defines me completely, I began to stop worrying, fussing about, and
dreading hearing it.
Now,
I still do sometimes have a problem with how some people treat unmarried people
... "When are you going to get a boyfriend?" "Why aren't you
married yet?" "You're being too fussy." "Aw, you poor,
lonely thing!" "You're not making yourself available enough!"
Like, how about encouraging us to thrive where God has us instead of making us
feel incomplete, behind, or lacking (as we already tend to struggle with
feeling like!)?
But that's a whole different post.
I'm
glad to say that I've been doing much better with accepting my place in life
right now and learning to blossom. Last year around this time I was feeling
really down and just wishing I could be married and having children like (almost)
all of my friends and cousins were.
I feel like God has done a lot of work on my heart since
then.
I
still have a deep heart's desire to be married one day.
But,
I'm finding joy in other things that God has given me and actively pursuing
life right now as an unmarried woman.
Today,
I want to present a few points - things that are helping me get to this place
of excitement and passion and contentment. I'm still a work-in-progress! But
God is ever teaching me. Oh, how faithful He is. We just have to stay humble
and pressing into Him and His goodness.
1) Don't be Single, be in a Relationship with Jesus Christ
Friends,
I know the loneliness can feel excruciating. Numbing. Depressing. Especially in
some seasons of life where other negative things are going on as well. I can't
give a perfect solution to take the loneliness away. So here's my advice:
Let your lonely heart drive you to Jesus.
Your
loneliness, your broken heart, your confusion, your hopelessness, your unmet
desires, your fear, your shattered dreams ... instead of letting them crush
you, let them push you toward God.
I
know it's hard. But open your hands. And surrender. Again, and again, and
again.
As
you grow closer to Christ, you'll begin to realize that this is what you
need. Him. A closeness with God. A dependency on Him. Hope and joy and
peace in Him. Because this is the lasting stuff! These are the things that will
never let you down or let you go. Because our God is faithful.
And
He is love.
On
those days when being single feels very hard and very solitary, guess what? God
can meet you there. And He will, if you allow Him.
If
you're too busy surfing the web, checking Facebook for the hundredth time and
stalking cute boys, watching movie after movie ... anything to fill your
loneliness ... (anything but God, that is), then you're going to miss His
gentle, awesome Presence.
But
if you aren't desperately scrambling to fill the void of a boyfriend/husband,
you'll start to realize that God is always there beside you. Waiting to hear your voice. Your whisper. Your cry.
He
walks with you. And in the moments when you feel rejected or lonely or sad or
just down, you can talk to Him and share your whole heart.
I
love the idea that I can go to God with my feelings at any moment. Anywhere. I love that I am His and He is mine. I love that
my life is one exciting, beautiful love story with Him.
Yes,
sometimes the ache for a human companion and best friend is nearly tangible.
But
God keeps reminding me that He is here and He's taking care of me and providing
me with all I need.
And
in that is incomprehensible peace, joy, love, and passion for life!
If you don't have a close
relationship with Jesus Christ, your life is going to be fraught with
loneliness, unmet expectations, and discontentment - whether your married or
single!
You have to come to this place of
emptiness where you feel like all you can do is cry out to the Lord. And then,
wow, let Him fill you up.
5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup runs over.
2) Realize there are a lot of Mr. Wrongs out there
Okay,
so I know there's a lot of controversy surrounding "Mr. Right". But
that's not what we're talking about today. We're talking about all the
"Mr. Wrongs"; and they are out there, let me assure you!
So
let me explain. There have been times in my life where I've been like, "I
just want to get married! Why does this have to be so complicated? I'll just
find a nice, Christian guy and we'll fall in love and live happily ever
after."
But
listen, ladies. There are a lot of nice, Christian guys out there that aren't
right for you.
They
aren't pursuing a close relationship with God like you are. They don't have the
same passion for glorifying God in everything and living out His plans for
their life like you do. Maybe they don't have a love for Jesus like the one you
feel in your heart. Maybe they aren't actively working through struggles and
hurts in their life because they don't trust God enough yet. Perhaps he's a
great guy, but he has such different convictions, passions, and ideas about
life. Maybe he doesn't have hardly any convictions or passions at all.
Just
because he goes to church and believes in God doesn't make him the right
partner for you, dear Christian woman.
I'm
not saying you'll find a perfect man. Because you most certainly won't. (And
if you think you will, you're going to fall a mighty long way from cloud nine.)
But
if you're desiring to live your life for God's glory (and this is His will
for you!) then don't you think God wills for you to have a man who's deeply
desiring the same thing?
If
you're going to be partners, don't you think you need to be
moving in the same direction?
I
don't know about you, but I want my husband to be my soul mate.
By that I mean, I want him to understand and share the deepest parts of me -
heart and soul. My relationship with a very real Creator God. My love for Jesus
Christ, God's Son. My firm belief that I'm God's daughter by Jesus' blood and
my faith in Him. My belief that the Bible is absolute truth. My hunger for Him,
His Word, and prayer time. My desire to live my life for Him, use my gifts (which
He gave me for a purpose) for His glory and people's good, raise children
to know and love Him ... !
I'm
not perfect. But as I desire and seek ... and over and over again find God and
His will as my central desire ... why would I bind myself to a man who can't
understand & share in that
It
makes no sense.
So,
as I grow in the Lord and realize that I do have very specific desires when it
comes to a husband, and not all the guys out there are going to meet those
standards, it helps me in some way.
To
be patient.
I so deeply desire a godly husband that I know I'm
one-hundred percent willing to wait as long as it takes!
It
perhaps helps calm my anxious heart that worries as all these guys pass me by.
I say to myself, "I'm seeking God's will for my life and I'm not willing
to settle for a man who's not desiring the Lord like I am. I can't just dash
out there and find a suitable guy in mere seconds because my standards are
high. Therefore I must surrender and trust God to work out my earthly love
story if He has marriage in store for me.
I let go ... and I find peace and
joy.
3) Find a Community. Build Relationships. Look
for ways to Bless and Serve People!
Love
people and live life! <3 Don't let singleness stop you, folks. There was
never any reason that it should!
So
come out of that dark hole. Press into the Lord and realize your standards -
what you want in a husband ... what God would want you to choose/seek!
Next,
find a community. I believe when God speaks of alone-ness in Genesis, He's not
just saying marriage is good. He's saying people being with people is good -
family is good and friends are good and community is good.
18 And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man
should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.”
We
should be doing life with other people whether we're single or married. We
should have close friendships and wise mentors in our lives. We should be
looking for other people to bless and mentor!
Now,
there are some seasons where we're just alone. And God uses this. Most times to
draw us to Him! (That's what I've found in my life. In that way, being alone
can actually turn out to be a beautiful thing ... when it draws us to the Lover
of our souls.)
But
we're not meant to be without human companionship forever. So find a church
community and make friends! *smiles*
For
myself, I've been visiting different churches! I like the church that my family
goes to - the teaching is solid and encouraging. However, I'm having a hard
time getting involved. So I've been visiting different churches, looking for
one that has great fellowship and I can really be in community with. It's
been fun, trying out new churches! I get a little nervous at times, but I love
meeting new people! (If they're the ones to introduce themselves and strike
up a conversation, haha!)
I've
involved myself in Bible studies. Even started one for my younger sister and
her friends. Now, we haven't been able to do any study nights recently, but I'm
hopefully we'll be able to again soon! I'm plotting and planning and toying
with ideas of going through this book or that book. ;) And I might try out the
Wednesday night Bible study at the new church I'm going to currently.
I'm
grateful for the chance to grow closer to siblings, family & relatives, and
long-distance friends. Yes, sometimes it's hard because
my life can be so monotonous. And then I start feeling down and don't feel like
putting any effort into building old relationships.
But,
that's why I'm trying to get into a community and try new things. Keeping a
spark of excitement in life helps me to remember the people already around me
and how I shouldn't let this stage slip by without growing close to them!
One
thing that continues to be really hard is not having any friends my age. I have
a few long-distance friends, but we don't get the chance to talk very often.
Do
you all have any advice for me?
:) Besides looking for a church family to get involved with, what can I do to
meet new people and make friends?? Haha. It's been difficult, but I'm thankful
for my siblings and their friends, aunts, my mom, cousins, etc.
Last
night I went to a disc-golf course with my thirteen-year-old brother and
seventeen-year-old sister. We enjoy disc-golf! Well ... my brother loves
it. I enjoy it. *winks*
So
there's another tip ... look for ways to hang out with your younger siblings (or
cousins or something.) Look for ways to invest in their lives. Mentor them,
maybe.
That's
been helpful for me. It pulls my focus off of just me and my life and my
struggles and my hurts, and starts investing my heart and emotions in other
people. So I can find hope through their lives. I can feel joy for them when
good things come their way. I can pray for them. I can help them through the
hard times. I can rejoice when they succeed. Grow. Receive their dreams.
So
whoever God has in your life right now, find ways to serve and bless them! Get
involved in their lives and journey together! Share emotions, hopes,
hardships, and dinners. *winks*
4) Pursue your Dreams. Invest in your Talents.
Don't wait to do what you feel like God is calling you to.
Y'all,
what is God calling you to? Don't be deceived ... if your heart is beating, you
have a purpose! Don't miss out on this wonderful thing because you're too busy
waiting to get married.
If
you can break away from the depression that comes from a broken heart and the
listlessness that comes from shattered dreams and the hopelessness that comes
from lack of trust ...
You
will realize that there are beautiful things out there within your reach, but
you've been so consumed with one beautiful thing (aka: marriage) that
you've been blinded to all the rest.
What
was it you always wanted to be when you were younger (for me, it was an
author!)? Or what opportunities do you see around you that tug at your
heart? A younger person who needs a mentor? A group of young people who would
be blessed by a Bible study (ladies, you could start a girl's Bible study
using Love Defined!)? A Crisis Pregnancy Center that
could use some volunteers? Maybe your church is going on a mission trip and you
have a heart for overseas missions.
Ponder
it. Dig deep. What do you have a passion for? What do you feel God might be
calling you to? Maybe He is calling you to marriage ... someday. But
right now there are other opportunities available while your future spouse is
out of sight!
As
for my personal life, there's a chance I'm going to have a full-time job very
soon. (I'd appreciate your prayers!) Meanwhile, I've been novel-writing
quite a bit and absolutely adoring it. I'm remembering that God gave me a
passion and a gift for writing and I should definitely be pursuing that and
using it for His glory! <3
31 Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all
to the glory of God.
So
yes, I've gotten excited about that once again. I have a desire to publish more
books - stories that I hope will touch reader's heart for God. I know that I
have a few loyal fans out there and they remind why I love writing. I'm not
exactly sure what God has in store for me, but I'm trying to use my time wisely
and write whenever I can. If He wills it, I want to publish again soon!
I
tried my hand at making soap and it was a good experience! Not as hard as I
thought. Though I was a little scared about mixing the lye. Good news, it all
went well and I didn't splat any on myself or my sister! :p So we have a
beautiful batch of charcoal soap that smells of lavender and tea tree oil
stacked on the top of my sister's bookshelf. We're hoping to make some more
this coming week.
And
yeah. Blogging, booktubing, Bible studies, and more! I'm trying different
things and just seeing where God takes me.
I
hope you all will too! Pursue God. Trust Him with your life. Take steps of
faith. Enjoy life! Try some new things. Do what you love, all for His glory.
<3
31 “Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What
shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For after all
these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need
all these things.33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His
righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
***
Here are some books that I've found super helpful during this season of my life.
And here's a book that Jinger Duggar Vuolo recommends that sounds really good! I'm looking forward to giving it a try someday.
Well, that's about it. Live
loved, dear fellow singles, and live to the fullest. <3
