Do you ever feel like...?

On my eighteenth birthday, I have a question to ask…

Do you ever feel like life is whirling by and leaving you behind?

I rather do sometimes.

Like, it seems almost all my childhood friends are either in a relationship, recently married, or expecting their first baby. It’s a joyful, yet slightly overwhelming season. I find myself thinking, When is it going to be my turn?

And as I realize, Goodness, you’re an adult now, Shantelle, I fret, What am I going to do with my life? Yes, I’m an author; I have a passion for penning tales; I’m on the road to publishing. But… it doesn’t feel like enough. I mean, most young adults my age have busy jobs, their own apartments, are in college for some spectacular career… I worry, Am I not “enough” in the world’s eyes?

I don’t own a car yet. No, I’ve never dated. Yep, I still live at home. Actually, I don’t believe college is in my future… Um, no, I don’t have a job at the present.

 Do you sometimes feel like a failure?

 Yep.

And I’m afraid people’s disapproving looks or even well-meaning comments have helped me feel so.

But after reading a splendid, heart-felt poem by lovely blogger, Michaela; I was inspired to take a good look at my life and reevaluate: What is truly important?

Perhaps life isn’t all about making money, independence, taking your place in the world… Perhaps it’s about touching the world. Loving your family. Being there for your friends. Using the gifts God has given you to make an impact on people’s (even just one person’s) heart and soul! Maybe it’s about being content where you are. Serving even when you feel impatient to move onto the next step in life.

I think about moving out. Moving out of the state actually, getting a job, and doing some minor ballet classes.

But I’m still seeking God’s plan on that. Perhaps I need to be here, serving my family for a bit longer. I love them all dearly—it would be hard to leave… especially considering the little siblings who have so much more growing to do!

But if I stay here, shouldn’t I get a job and a car already? You know, there’s clothing stores, dessert shops, or a library I could maybe work at.

     Well, I don’t know yet. My writing is very important to me; I feel like God has a plan for it. I don’t want it to get pushed aside. Why is it so stressed for me to get a job anyway? I don’t really need the money—have no friends to hang out with anyway. I’m serving my family right now. Always plenty of dishes and laundry to do, babies to hold, and toddlers to entertain, :). And plus I think it's good practice. If I want to be a wife and mommy someday, I’ll be home all day doing dishes and laundry, cooking and baking, taking care of children. I guess sometimes I just don't want a job, and car, and all this "teen-young adult" independence. I simply want the awesome job of being a home-keeper (which all of you wife&mothers out there know can be quite hard work, but absolutely rewarding!). Can you understand? Because truly I do understand the importance of learning how to support yourself and whatnot… but this is how my heart feels. I want to be a stay-at-home mom… I want to touch souls for God through my works of fiction.

So here’s the thing. I really have little idea of where my life is supposed to go and how it’s supposed to transpire. Maybe I should think less of my own grand schemes, and even less of the world’s ideas, and trust God to guide my feet onto the paths He would choose.

He sees the big picture. And He knows what’s best for me, His daughter.

Perhaps eighteen is the time to get married. Perhaps twenty-three. Perhaps thirty. I don’t know what's for me. I’m perfectly for getting married young as long as both are seeking God. I’m less excited about getting married older, ;), but I choose to trust that God knows best! He knows when my dear prince charming is ready, He knows when I’m ready, He knows the perfect time in which we should join lives. It’s all good. And if He plans to give me a passel of children, He will make it happen, no matter how old I am. :)

Maybe I will get a car and a job and all that soon here. Maybe I will focus solely on writing my Christian-allegory series a bit longer. Maybe I will move out of state. I’m still seeking God’s plan on all that. I know He will show me what He’s calling me to do.

In the meantime, I’m just going to keep helping out and loving on my family, writing my adventurous fantasy tales, and praising my incredible King! And enjoy being eighteen. Forget the world’s expectations. Forget being "mature" and “enough” in the world’s standards. I shall be joyful and zealous and trusting, and strive to please my God in all I do. What else could be more important?

Books I've enjoyed recently or are just timeless favorites for me, :)
*From my bookshelf, and photos taken by Tasha- Through My Lens*

 

 

 

Got this weapon in the mail yesterday!! :) Yay, Karalee shall have her sword! :) :)

 

Are You Excited ... :)

... For Book 8 in TALES OF GOLDSTONE WOOD by Anne Elisabeth Stengl? I certainly am! This series constantly leaves me looking forward to more! *smiles* Though Book 8 doesn't have a cover yet, a title was revealed some days back.

Are you excited now? *grins* Poison Crown sounds intriguing! Anyway, this series is a favorite of mine. And if you are into fantasy with Christian allegories woven throughout, deep and fascinating complexity, a whimsical touch, and a nice amount of sweet romance, TALES OF GOLDSTONE WOOD might be wonderful for you too! ^_^

So I would suggest looking into this series ...

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I'm also really excited for Cinderella (2015). 

I love fairytales!! The first trailer for this upcoming movie just came out, and it looks like it sticks pretty close to the original story. Yay! I'm hoping that it will be clean and worthwhile! Check out the trailer:

 Cinderella (2015)

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Last but not least, I'm excited for Thanksgiving! It's just kind of a fun, blessing-filled time to fellowship with family and friends. I don't know about  you, but I have so much to be thankful for!! Especially when I start reflecting on blessings. So as you're perhaps eating delicious, traditional Thanksgiving food, and laughing and enjoying family, take time to thank God for His care for you! <3

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And then here's just some lovely pictures of things that I'm excited may come someday ... *smiles*

~Start up ballet again~

~Publish my story, Silver Rose (mock cover)~

~Marry my best friend (whenever he appears *smiles* )~

~Wear a pretty wedding dress~

~See if my story, A Beauty Unforgotten, becomes part of this collection~

~Go to an old-fashioned dance~

~Be a mommy <3~

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So, what are you excited for? *smiles*

(Photos found on Pixabay.com)

Give Up or Surrender?

      So, like a lot of young women out there, I would really like to get married.

      It's a dream of mine. A wish. A hope. It comes from deep within my heart, and its sweet and simple—I would like someone to cherish me as his own. Someone I can cherish as my own. Someone I can walk with on this earth hand in hand.

     Why do I feel like this dream is so looked down upon sometimes? As if I have a reason to be guilty for hoping to be a wife and a mother?

     When a young woman graduates from high school and tells of her big plans for college and a career, she is often applauded and encouraged.

     But when I speak of wanting to get married and have children, it often seems I get a belittling smile. Written by well-meaning Christians, quotes such as “sacred singleness” and “a woman should be so enamored with her heavenly Prince that she has no time to pine for an earthly prince” and “you can do God's work best when you're single” come across my path.

     To a certain extent, all these quotes have merit. But what about, “A wife of noble character, who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.” (Proverbs 31:10) And “He who finds a wife finds what is good, and receives favor from the Lord." (Proverbs 18:22) And “The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” (Genesis 2:18) And “Two are better than one, because they have good return for their work... A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” (Ecclesiastes 4:9&12) And "Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,'  and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh' ?  So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." (Matthew 19:4-6)

     What about the fact that God instigated marriage? That He created romance? That He made man, woman, and the marriage relationship? That He ordained the marriage covenant between a man and woman to be sacred? Marriage is a beautiful thing—God fashioned it to be just that.

     As for “sacred singleness”, if you are single and you're following God, then that is exactly what the status of your life is supposed to read. God has you here, unmarried, for a reason. He has holy work for you to go about. Your life is not on hold. Your godly singleness is sacred just like godly marriage is sacred.

 

     “A woman should be so enamored with her heavenly Prince that she has no time to pine for an earthly prince.” Jesus is our everything. We should never lower Him to the level of an earthly prince. Or elevate an earthly prince to His level. We should strive to grow in our relationship with Him, and be content in Him.
   An earthly prince is a gift. A blessing that God may bestow on us when He wishes. To want an earthly prince, to want marriage, is natural. A desire for marriage does not by any means make you less of a Christian. God knows our desires, and I believe He gave us our desires.
   Don't be so obsessed with getting married that you loose sight of your Heavenly Prince. But a hope for marriage should be just like a hope for anything else... a hope to get published, a hope to have children, a hope for a good church family...
   Surrender your dream to God, and trust that He knows what's best for your future because He loves you so much.

      Speaking of “You can do God's work best when you're single.”, I can't say I wholly agree with that. As singles, we still have obligations, just like married people. If not to our family (parents and siblings), then we have to balance college and providing for oneself, and things like that. As the King's children, we all have royal business we should be about. When we get married, God's work should never become less important to us. Rather, we now have a partner to work with. Additionally, let it never be said that raising children to love and serve God is not His work.

     To sum up my point, I don't feel like I should GIVE UP my hope of marriage, like its something that makes me less “holy”. Like I should shrug in defeat, “I'm pretty sure I'm going to be an old maid.”

     Rather, I should SURRENDER my dream of getting married into the hands of God, because (1) He is in control of my life. (2) I need to trust Him. (3) He knows what's best. (4) I want His best.

     I don't want to be that young woman on the look-out for a “could-be husband” wherever she goes. I want to focus on my wonderful Savior, His amazing work He has set out before me, and the loved ones He has already gifted me with.

     I don't want to be the woman who's depressed and lonely because she's not married like all her friends. I don't want to be the one leaving a string of broken relationships and hearts behind her. I don't want to be the one with a broken heart or a broken marriage. —Or a broken soul.

     I want to KNOW that my everything comes from God. I want to be content where He has me. I want to trust Him with my future. If He has marriage in His plans for me, I want it to come about His way.

 

      That way I will honor my God, and experience marriage beautifully as God fashioned it to be.

     I may or may not get married. I haven't heard God's “no” so far. It's still a gentle hope deep inside my heart. A gift I hope for, not a goal I need to accomplish. But I know my God is enough. I trust Him to give me joy, peace, and contentment. And if marriage is His plan for me, I trust it will come in the right timing.

     So don't be ashamed of hoping for a husband and children! Just know that your loving Heavenly Father is enough for you, and trust Him in the area of such details and blessings!! :)

Goals and Gifts from God

I decided to do a post today about Goals and Gifts from God. I think often we don't stop to remember all the gifts and blessings God has bestowed on us (even in the hard times), and the goals He has planted on our hearts to accomplish.
So here's my remembrance, my list. I'll do a gift, then goal, then gift... and so on, until I reach 20 total.

1) I'm thankful for my Dad, Mom, four sisters, and three brothers. We don't always get along perfectly, (ha!), but I love them all very much!

2) It's long been my goal to publish Silver Rose, my allegorical fantasy that started on a whim and finished at a word count of 189,488. When I read it over... I feel my heart want to be closer to God's, and I dearly hope it will do the same for other readers!

3) I've realized more and more... while on vacations, leaving behind, and meeting again, what wonderful grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins I have; and I'm ever thankful for them all!

4) The Bible tells us to become more like Jesus. Gentle, kind, forgiving, selfless... I have a goal to be more attentive to the hurting people around me; to have a sincere smile and encouraging word ready. To be a friend. Who knows who needs you? Be Jesus' hands and feet on this earth.

5) I'm thankful to all the wonderful authors who have penned such amazing books! Among some of them are C.S. Lewis, Anne Elisabeth Stengl, Jaye L. Knight, Laura Frantz, Karen Witemeyer, Nicole Sager, and Lisa Tawn Bergren... But there are many more of course that I didn't name! :) Thank you for writing books that both warm the heart and touch the soul.

 

 

 

 

 

6) A recent goal of mine is to write a dystopian novel that will thrill minds but also bring across the message of hope and a loving God loud and clear. I'm not sure how far this one will go... but if God wills it, it'll come about! :)

 

 

7) I risk sounding like an electronic freak --as certain people might say in my house, ;) -- but I'm thankful for my laptop, cellphone, and the kindle I just won. They can all be quite helpful, especially the laptop for undisturbed writing and whatnot! But I don't intend to get "obsessed" with any of them! :p

8) A goal of mine is to become less self-conscious. Because its silly really, in the light of things; and I would like to live joyfully, freely, and zealously!

9) I'm thankful for my friend who is getting married soon. She is such an encouragement to me, an inspiration, really! :) And I'm ever so honored and excited to stand in her wedding!! :) :)

10) Speaking of marriage, I would one day like to be a godly wife/helpmeet/confidant to some man whom God would choose for me. And raise a passel of children to love and serve my Lord.

11) I'm SO thankful for the non-busy road by my family's rental house. Long walks refresh and renew my spirit.

12) It's definitely my goal to loose all the worry, fears, and stress that badger me constantly. I know this goal is quite God-inspired... "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?" Luke 12:25 "Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged..." Joshua 10:25

13) Every day is a gift. I'm thankful for the life God has given me, and the direction I know He has for me.

14) It's my goal to rely on God fully, so that when I'm afraid, hurt, betrayed, it won't send me running off the edge, but rather running into His arms. People can't always be there for us, can't always give us exactly what we need... that's why we have our Heavenly Father.

15) I'm thankful for blogs and all the wonderful writers and readers I've met online! It's so much fun, and you guys have encouraged me greatly! :)

16) Well, my goal is to read my Bible more. I have a daily devotional, but often its rushed, and sometimes I skip a day. I know reading the words of God is important in order to know Him more!

17) I'm thankful for feminine maxi dresses and cute heels that make me feel like such a lady, :)

18) I would definitely like to be more healthy, exercise more, make sure I'm taking care of my temple (body) the best I can!

19) I'm so thankful for Louie Giglio and the amazing videos he's put together. Indescribable and How Great is our God have both brought me to tears... and when I watch them, I sit in awe, first at how big and mighty God really is... then, on the flip side, how very, very much He loves me. It's incredible really.

20) I could sum it up... to know my Savior more, to write for His glory and thus help others, to live joyously and with much zeal! :) :)

And now, to all my lovely readers who have blogs, I would challenge you to find 10 things you're thankful for, and ten goals, and post them on your blog! Well, not challenge. But if you want to, I would love to read yours! :)
It definitely helps open my eyes to how blessed I am... and rejuvenates me. God is good! And faithful. How wonderful that we have Him to lean on.

(All images found on pinterest)