Dear Future Husband,
I want to apologize. To say sorry for
making it all about me. Perhaps it's a girl thing—to think when there is a young
man who catches our notice: Maybe he's
the one. Could he be my prince charming? –Come to rescue me. Fulfill me. Make
me happy. Call me beautiful. Make me secure. Complete me.
Me. Me. Me. I'm sorry. We shouldn't always
do that. I shouldn't do that. When we
see you, we should see a child of God. A young man treasured by the Creator. A
temple of the Holy Spirit. A brother. Possibly a friend. Who knows—perhaps more in time? But right now, we should just see you.
Not someone who could potentially fulfill all our "happily ever after"
dreams, but a fellow human being who has struggles, hurts, and hopes, and needs
encouragement and love, just like we do.
I’m sorry. The burden I oftentimes subconsciously
plan on putting on you is ridiculous. There’s been hurt in my life, but I
cannot put my hope in you to make it right. You can’t fulfill me. You can’t
right my world. After all, you are only a man. A good man, I am sure, but a
man, nonetheless. Not a god. In fact, because of your sins, God had to
sacrifice His Son, Jesus Christ, to save you! The story is the same with me. So, as two imperfect, broken human beings, how could we possibly be able to fulfill
the other?
I need to stop having this unhealthy
expectation of you, and start putting all
my hope in the Lord. Because if I went into marriage like that, it would cause intense unmet expectations and pain and strife. But if we come together, both
keeping God as our first love, and placing Him in the center of our relationship, then
perhaps it could be something immensely beautiful.
It isn’t all about me. It’s about you. And
most of all, it’s about God, and honoring Him in everything we do! Dear future
husband, if God plans to bring you along sometime, I want our friendship to
encourage and bring joy to the both of us. I want our love story to be
beautiful, for me and for you—like God designed the love between a man and a woman to be. I want
our marriage to radiantly glorify Him. He is worthy! And His path is very good.
So, I want to do better. For Him. For you.
For me.
Faithfully Yours
~ Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and
lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He
shall direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6 ~
~ My soul, wait silently for God alone, for
my expectation is from
Him. He only is my
rock and my salvation; He is my
defense; I shall not be moved. In God is my salvation and my glory; the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God. Trust in Him at all
times, you people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us. Psalm 62:5-8 ~
Beautifully put! And a good reminder that I needed! Thank you!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Kimberly. :) So glad it was encouraging to you!! You're welcome!
DeleteAaaaah this is so beautiful, Shantelle. Such a great reminder. <3 <3 <3 It's not about us, it's about God - and that's what makes it work well. Love you, sister!
ReplyDeleteThanks much, Amanda. ^_^ Glad it was an encouragement and reminder for you!! Love you too! <3
DeleteGreat post!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Eliza! :)
DeleteThanks, Natasha! ^_^
ReplyDeleteWow, this was amazing, Shantelle! I know that, for me,this can be something I struggle with. And this was such a great, timely reminder! It's about God not us...and that's sooo important.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for writing and posting. This was a wonderful encouragement to me. <3
Aw, thank you, Jesseca! I think we all struggle with it! Glad my post could be a reminder and encouragement! <3
DeleteYes, when our focus is on the Lord, that's when beautiful things happen! Ah, His dreams for us are so much better than our own!! So hand the pen of your love story over to Him! ^_^
You're welcome! <3 Just writing as God inspires is what it is, I think! :)
Very good. This is something we all need to keep in mind. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Morgan. :) Yes, indeed!
DeleteAmen! Such a wonderful reminder. God first...always first. ~Moriah
ReplyDeleteYes, with Him as our first love, things fall into place! Thanks, Moriah! ^_^
DeleteLove this!<3
ReplyDeleteThanks, Marita! ^_^
DeleteThis is such an amazing post. Thanks so much for that reminder! I needed it!
ReplyDeleteAww, you're welcome, Ashley! :) So happy it was an encouragement!
DeleteAs a man, I can say this isn't just a "girl thing". I've had the same kind of struggles in placing too much expectation on my future wife (whoever she is), and I know lots of other guys have struggled the same way. You really wrote a great reminder here.
ReplyDeleteWhen you said, "placing Him in the center of our relationship, then perhaps it could be something immensely beautiful." it reminded me of something. I believe the marriage covenant isn't just a reflection of God and the church, but also a reflection of the Trinity. Marriage, for Christians, is actually a covenant between 3 parties. A man, a woman, and God. And God is the top of that triangle. We can't enter into a relationship with the third party (our spouse) if we haven't solidified our relationship with the first party (God).
Great stuff, keep writing for Jesus! :)
God Bless,
In Christ.
Christopher Green
Well, I'm glad to know my post can be an encouragement to men also! :) I suppose it's a struggle all around, for guys and girls, and we all need reminders time and again!
DeleteAh yes, that's a neat way to think about it! I definitely do think of the marriage relationship as a threesome - just never thought about how it related to the Trinity before! In Ecclesiastes, where it says "A cord of three strands is not quickly broken", I've always thought of the three cords as God, Husband, & Wife. :)
Thank you! I will definitely do my best to! :)
Thanks for commenting, Christopher. Blessings!
Wow, Shantelle! This is beautiful, and exactly what so many of us need. This really dug deep into my heart and touched me. I will always remember.
ReplyDeleteThank you,
Hann
Thank you, Hann! So glad it touched your heart! ^_^ I know it's definitely something I've been thinking about, and knowing I needed to challenge myself on, so I'm really happy it's been an encouragement to all of you! :)
DeleteYou're welcome and blessings!